She's Not Perfect...

ARISE O COMPATRIOTS

NIGERIA’S TME DON TAY

TO BECOME A RICH MAN LAND

NO THIEF, NO CRIME, NO SLAVE

THE LABOUR OF OUR HEROES PAST

IS TOTALLY IN VAIN…

WITH SUCH HOPELESS ATTEMPTS

TO BUILD A NATION

WHERE STILL…

ARMED ROBERRY SHALL REIGN!

So one night like that…in my house in Nigeria…I was chilling with some people and we were just messing around and singing songs. Sha, we started singing ‘Bartender’ By T-Pain and Akon and somehow somehow, the chorus turned to this:

‘I like the Orange seller…

Ooooooh…If ur looking for me,

I am the spare parts dealer

Alright…okay,

I like the orange seller…

Yeaaaaah…if ur looking for me,

I am the spare parts dealer

Huh-huh…okayyyyyy…’

I Know…Awon Deepness Tho!

So this ‘Awon….Tho’ thng is becoming quite a revolution on twitter and bbm! And I’m absolutely loving it! Because erm…I started it! =D. So because I’m jobless…and I know you are too… I’m going to list all the ‘Awon…tho’s that we have so far! Feel free to make any suggestions…but it gast make sense tho.

So these are the awon everything’s tho!

1.    ‘Awon Deepness Tho’: This is the most popular one! You just say it when something is intense…you know…like the thing is deeeeep! I’m loving the fact that many of friends BB statuses read ‘Awon deepness tho’!

2.    ‘Awon Hotness Tho’: fine boy, fine girl, fine picture, fine dress, fine shirt, fine boobi, fine plate, fine gbo gbo e…it sums all of it up!

3.    ‘Awon laughter tho’: Yemisi and I came up with this one during our ‘evil’ plans! =D This one is just the replacement for ‘Lol’…but unlike Lol…you use it when ur ‘anticipating’ laughter…like you know if/when something happens, you’re going to laugh…I know it sounds complicated but awon deepness tho.

4.    ‘Awon Oloshi tho’: Simple and straight. For oloshi people! You gast remember that there are plenty oloshi people in this world…or so my mother says.

5.    ‘Awon Scammers tho’: This one is specially for Feyi and Seyi! They like to scam too much! Ahn ahn! Beware of them!

6.    ‘Awon Scandalicious tho’: Favwa added this one to the awoon dictionary today ! And I Lavz it!

So…if ur not on twiiter…you may not understand the beauty of ‘Awon…tho’ but that is your business not mine! =D

Okay..Bye!

Cheers and God Bless

So…a very SILLY friend of mine asked a rather deep question on twitter today. She asked:

‘SO WHO THE HELL IS ‘DOE’ AND WHY DOES EVERYONE WANNA BANG HIM? IS HE THAT GOOD?’

If this babe in question wasn’t so hot, I would be worried about her sanity.

Ok…bye!

So back to awon stories tho….Oh btw, I tend to use the phrase ‘awon ….tho’ nowadays….and my correct people are getting with the movement! Hi-five luvvies!

I digress…so anyway, back to awon yanz tho.

I’m just gonna ask one quick question. Like do you guys find it highly annoying that awon oyinbo people like to remix your name? Like…remix of songs is permissible…but remix of names? Don’t fux like that!

Like, I have this friend called ‘Fola’ and they would just be calling the poor guy ‘Fuller’…like seriously! Ki lo de?

But his own is not even bad…cuz one day like that, myself and some of my friends from my accommodation hall were on our way to the club yea, na so one babe came ask my fellow Nigerian babe wetin her name be. The babe answered her, ‘My name is Bukky’…u know, very simple name, no hassles…but before my very eyes, na so them start debate over this name.

1^st babe (in sweet British accent): No offense, but why would your parents name you that?

Bukky (in Nigerian–almost British accent): ahn ahn, what do you mean?

2^nd babe: I don’t get it either…you know, why would your parents do that?

Bukky: Hami-P, wa gba mi o…

Me: Guys, it’s a Nigerian name, why do u have a problem with it?

2^nd babe: Ooooh…it’s a Nigerian name. That’s nice. We were just wondering you know why your parents would name you after a book and a key?

Ahhh! …Eyin people, I almost died! See how they remixed Bukky to Book-key! Awon deepness tho!

Still!…that one still dey. The most remixed Nigerian name has to be the name ‘Sope’ as in Mosope! Gaddemn!

So one day, I was in this really boring lecture and one Indian babe beside me wouldn’t stop talking to me…awon oloshi babe…however, she caught my attention by discussing a supposedly hot boy…and of course, you know when it comes to hot boys, Hami P is forever alert! Na so I come ask the name of this boy, the babe now said ‘Soap’…ahn ahn, fuck down. How would a boy be hot and now be so unfortunate as to have a name called ‘Soap’? Na so life harsh? Surely, before coming to uni, the boy suppose know say it would be very useful to change such a name. I sha asked the babe again to make I hadn’t misheard her. ‘His name is soap? You are sure about this?’.

Babe (in one of those fucking fake burr-bie voices): Verrrry…hey look, he’s even got his name customised on his hoodie today.

Na so she point the boy out for me and out of curiousity, I checked the boy out…and what did Hami P see? I saw ‘SOPE’…as in Sope the Yoruba name…that’s what this weyrey babe dey call Soap…mschew! I just ignored the babe for the rest of the lecture! Oloshi.

That remix of ‘Sope’ is still understandable in a way, if you try to be an understanding person….which by the way, I am absolutely not. The one I don’t understand however is what they call one of my very good friends! The poor boy’s name is ‘Sope’…why call him ‘Shipwreck’? Like, I am still trying to get the logic behind this. Apart from the fact that thy both have two syllables and they both start with S, they have absolutely nothing in common! Awon deepness tho.

So anyway, that’s another problem with being Nigerian…awon names just get fucked up…that’s why u see people claiming ‘English’ names that their parents are not even aware of their existence. Me tho, I am very grateful for my name! My parents were thinking very well when they named me. Althoooough…a certain girl I know, I’m not giving any names, thought for a very long time that my full name was ‘Hamilola’…the babe is Nigerian o but I shall reserve my comments!

So anyway…im going back to chill with the Jackie Boyz…they are fucking awesome…Pardon my French!

Cheers and God Bless!